Be-laugh(Haste raho)

(1)
Man:- patni se gusse me ham ye flat khali karenge.

Patni:- par baat kya hai
pati :- gusse men baramde mai apne flat ke maalik ka beta chilla-2 ke kah raha hai ki is flat mai
sirf ek ko jhod ke sabhi auraton ke sath uske sareerik
sambandh hai.

Patni :- fir to jaroor vo 4 Number bali seema hogi.


(2)


Lab khamosh ho jate hai,

ab tum samne aate ho,

dil dhadakte hai

jab nigah milate ho,

saans rukti hai jab muskurate ho,

BHOOT ho kya?

jo itna darate ho???


(3)


How to kill a mosquito:

Catch it alive,

tie its legs then make
gudgudi on its stomach

and when it laughs,Catch its

mouth and pour a spoon of poison..

NOW… Can you do this ???


(4)



Chandme Dekha To Aap Dikhe,

Badalme Dekha To Aap Dikhe,

Taaronme Dekha To Aap Dikhe,

Arey Yaar Thoda Sideme Ho Jao

To Kuch Aur Bhi Dikhe…


(5)


I Like You Utna,
U Like Me Jitna,
I Like U Tabse,
U Like Me Jabse,
I Like U Tab Tak,
U Like Me Jab Tak,
U Like Me Jane Kab Tak,
But I Like U Marte Dam Tak..


(6)


Paani mein whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

(7)


Kya Aankhein Kya Surat Kya Chehra Aapne Paya Hai,
Jaise Peeple Ke Pedse Bhoot Utarke Aaya Hai,
Bura Laga?
To Wapas Ped Pe Chad Jao…

(8)


Next Generation sholay dialog-
Mom: Beta so jaa warna gabbar aa jayega..
Son: 100 rupya do warna papa ko bata dunga ki mere sone ke baad kon gabbar aata hai..


(9)


Is Qadar Imtehaan Na Lo,
Kyon Ho Khafa Bayan To Karo,
Kar Do Maaf Agar Ho Gayi Ho Khata,
Yun Gifts Le Lekar Barbaad Na Karo…

(10)


Biwi ne bade pyarse patike gale me baahein daali aur pucha:

kaisa lag raha hai ji?


Pati: jaise bhagwan shankarke galeme naag lipte ho…

(11)


Aman To Chaman: Tell Me 5 Animals Living In Water?
Aman: Hmmm…..Fish.
Chaman: Thik Ha Aur Chaar?
Aman: Fish Ke Brother, Sister Father And Mother…

(12)


INTERESTING FACT:

A Woman Worries Until She Gets A Husband,

A Man Never Worries About The Future Until He Gets A Wife…

(13)

Jab tumhari yaad aati hai to lagta hai

har patthar pe likhu ‘I MISS U’

aur har patthar tumhe maaru,

taaki tumhe pata chale ke har yaad me kitna DARD hota hai

(14)

GIRL:I LOVE U.
BOY:Me Too.
GIRL:Kitna Karte Ho.
BOY:Jitna Tum Mujhe Karti Ho.
GIRL: KAMINE,Main Sochti Thi Ki Tum Sachha Pyar Karte Ho

(15)

Dil Hai To Pyar Hai,
Pyar Hai To Ishq Hai,
Ishq Hai To Mohabbat Hai,
Mohabbat Hai To Dard Hai,
Dard Hai To Hum Hai,
Hum Hai To Phir……… Kya Gam Hai???

(16)


Gandhiji Bhi Chale Gaye,
Nehruji Bhi Chale Gaye,
Bhagat Sing Bhi Nahi Rahe,
Meri Bhi Tabiyat Thik Nahi Rehti Hai
Pata Nahi Is Desh Ka Kya Hoga…

(17)


Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty

Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension

Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi

Saali is Pataka, Wife is Dhamaka

Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool

Saali is Tooti - Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi

Saali is Fresh cake, Wife is earth QUAKE


(18)


Khudane Jab Tujhe Banaya Hoga,
Confusion Ka MoMent Aaya Hoga,
Kabhi Monkey To Kabhi Donkey Banana Chaha Hoga,
End Me Donoka Mix Pasand Aaya Hoga…

(19)


Jab TuM Is Duniya Se Jaoge
Aur Dur Kahin Ek Naya JanaM Paoge,
Is Baar Jo Hua So Hua,
Agli Baar 1 LaMbi Pooch
Aur 4 Tange Paoge…


(20)

mohabat to ham ne bhi ki thi mere dosto
lekin kuch khas nahi hua
taj mahal to hum bhi bana chahte the
lekin loan pas nahi hua


(21)

L———-
O———
V———
E———

L=loss of money.
O=out of mind.
V=vaste of time.
E=end of life.

so dont’t LOVE.
ONLY LINE MARO………….

(22)

Hum Bigadte Hai To Bhuchaal Aajata Hai,
Hum Machalte Hai To Toofan Machal Jaata Hai,
Humko Na Karo Koshish Badalneki,
Hum Badalte Hai To ITIHAAS BADAL JAATA Hai…


(23)

Khuda Kare Tera Mobile Kho Jaye,
Mile Mujhe Aur Mera Ho Jaye,
Sms Karun Ladkiyonko, Naam Tera Aaye,
Maar Tujhe Pade Aur Kaleja Mera Thanda Ho Jaye…


(24)


Shaadi k pehle: Darling!! tum nahi to mai nahi… Aur mai nahi to tum nahi…
Shaadi k baad: Aj ya tu tum nahi ya mai nahi!

(25)

anso tumare niklein ankhein meri ho
dil tumara dhadk dhadkane meri ho

khuda kare

humari dosti itni gahri ho
nokri tum karo salary meri ho…..

(26)

apni shakal pe gharur mat kar itna
sab do din ki masti hai
teri shakal surat tab tak kayam hai
jab tak cherry blossom sasti hai…..

(27)

Meri yaad aye: yaad karo
Zyada aye : sms Karo
Ussey zyada aye : phone karo
Ussey bhi zyada aye to millo
Ager ussey bhi zyada aaye
.
to
.
Plz jhoot bolna band karo…..

(28)


Ques: India Ka Sabse Bada Pralay Ka Din Kaunsa Hoga?
Ans: Jis Din Raakhi Aur VALENTINES Day Ek Sath Ayega…

(29)


Hum dua karte hai khudase ke
Wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye,
Ek hi cartoon jaisi chiz hai hamare paas
Kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye…


(30)


Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile
Mujhse bhi achcha yaar mile
Meri girlfriend tujhe bandhe RAKHI
Aur ek AUR behan ka pyaar mile…
Happy RAKSHA BANDHAN

(31)


Aapki charcha hai har gali mein
Har ladki ke dil mein aapke liye pyaar hai
Yeh koi chamatkar nahin
Time hi kuch khaas hai galat mat samjhna meredost
Kuch hi dinon mein * * RAKHI ka tyohaar hai…

(32)

Ek doctor ke clinik ke bahar marijo ki line lagi thi
jab koi admi aagejatatologuse pakad kar pichhe
kheench lete ek admi kai baraage jane ki koshis ki
par logo ne use bhi piche khich liya 5-6 bar khiche jane ke bad vo admi chillaya kambakhto .lageraholine mai
mai bhi aaj clinik nahi kholunga.

(33)

If a girl laughs ,she is merry,
If a boy laughs ,he is mannerless.

If a girl talks ,she is decent,
If a boy talks,he is a chatterbox.

If a girl likes silence ,she is serious,
If a boy likes silence ,he is dull.


(34)

Wo jab chalti hai to rahonme 100-100 ke note bichha deta hoon,
wo jab chalti hai to raahonme 100-100 ke note bichha deta hoon,
Uske jaane ke baad phir utha leta hoon…

(35)

Dilke dard ko zubanpar late nahi,
Hum apni aankhonse aansu bahate nahi,
Zakham chahe kitne bhi gehre kyon na ho,
Hum dettol ke siwa kuch aur lagate nahi…

(36)

Ghoda jo khaye wo ghaas ho tum,
budhe ka chawanprash ho tum,
idiot stupid bakwas ho tum,
par jo bhi ho jhakkas ho tum…

(37)

Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun ’sa Law’ kehta hai?

(38)

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai

(39)

Once someone sent sms 2 person
“Bhejnewala mahan padhnewala gadha.”
person got angry and replied
“Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

(40)

Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono NE kapde tyag diye,
Ek NE desh ke liye,
Doosre NE Deshwasion ke liye!

(41)

1980 girls: Maa mei Jeans pehanungi
Maa : Nahin beti log kya kahengey ?
2006 girls: Maa mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maa: Pehen Le beti kuch to pehan Le!

(42)

Arz kiya hai…..(Irshad to bolo)
Teri zulfon me kho jana chahta hu,
Teri zulfon me kho jana chahta hun,
Par tu tel itna lagati hai ke chadhta hun or fisal jaata hoon.

(43)

Jo Muddat Se Hota Aaya Hai,
Woh Repeat Kar Doonga...
Tu Naa Mili To Apni Zindagi
Shif+Delete Kar Doonga...

(44)

Shayad Mere Pyar Ko
Taste Karna Bhool Gaye....
Dil Sey Aisa Cut Kiya
Ke Paste Karna Bhool Gaye...

(45)

Aisa Bhi Nahin Hai Ke
I Don't Like Your Face...
Par Dil Ke Storage Mein
No More Disk Space...

(46)

Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?

Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!

(47)

Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.

father-son.jpg

Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.

(48)


A sardar is sing a patriotic song "ey mere batan ke logo jara ankh mai bhar lo paani
jo saheed huye hai unki tussi ghar le aao janaani"

(49)


A grl in a wedding ceremony want 2 go 2 do toilet.
she asked a sardar, sardarji su su kernay ki jaga dikhao.
sardar replied unnaughty girl pehlay tum dikhao.