Non veg jokes

(1)
Conductor : baccha ko ticket ?
Rajsthani lady :- iko bhi lagego ke ? yo tho abaar bobo chuse

hai.
Conductor:- bobo tho iko baap bhi chuse hai.
To uke bhi free me bitha lu

(2)
Sardar running behind bus, and finaly catches it n asked driver,
ye bus teri ma lagti hai ?Nahi.
Behan lagti? Nahi… biwi ? nahi. Tho sala chadne kyu nahi deta


(3)
Girl hostel me phone aaya- meena hai kya ?
Warden ne pucha-piche kya lagati hai ?
Jawab aaya-ab tho pata nahi pehle sarson ka tel lagati thi


(4)
Husband:- ne sasural me biwi se : chalo sex karte hain
Biwi : nahi ye mere baap ka ghar hai
Husband :- tho kya mere baap ka ghar red light area hai jo to roz
Taiyar ho jati hai.


(5)
Sardar go 4 sex with wife
Wife – please aaj mat karo, mera upwas hai..
Sardar gusse se => bhenchod mere lund pe kya aata laga hai,
Jo upwas tut jayega >


(6)
Suhagrat ko pati ne patni se pucha “ kya mehsus kar rahi ho ?”
Patni = aaj tak top_up me kam chalaati thi aaj se life time karwa liya.



(7)
Hone wali bahu ko dekhne aaye sasur ne kaha beti chai aati hai.
Ladki boli chutiye mujhe abhi tak dudh nahi aata. Chai kya ghanta aayegi

(8)
Nasbandi ki team ko dubara apne village me dekh kar ek budha bola,
“ in logo ne connection to pahle hi kat diya tha. Ab kya handset bhi
le jayege.?


(10)
Women’s life is very hard – morning – wash clothes,
Noon – dry clothes,
Evening- iron clothes,
Night – open clothes,
Late night-search clothes..


(12)
Ek budha blue film dekhte huyejor se haath ko jatka dene laga
Ladka- kya hua baba ?
Baba- kya hona hai, 30 saal bad khada hua tho
Aaj haath so gaya..

(13)
Default non veg msg (sexy)
Bandriya ne apni maa se pucha meri sadhi kiske sath hogi,
Bandriya ki maa ne kha agar ye sms padne wala muskra de to
Samjo baat paki.
Happy smile day



(14)
Onese james bond met a dog in jungle and said –
I am bond “ james bond”
The dog bites him & replies-
I am kutta.. hidkiya kutta ab to tharo naam bhi
Tumhe bata diyo


(15)
Teacher to santa :- aisi kisi jagah ka naam batao jise banaya to Aadmi
Ne hai par phir bhi wo waha ja nahi sakta ?
Santa : “ ladies toilet”


(16)
Default non veg msg (sexy)
Ek city ka ladka pehli baar sasural gaya,
Village walon se pucha – yaho koi enjoy karne wali cheej hai kya ?
Wo bole – nahi ,
Ek thi wo bhi aap le gaye..


(17)
Sardar : aaj ghr jate hi biwi ki chaddi utarunga.
Dost : aaj bade mood me ho ?
Sardar : ghanta bhenchod, bahut tight hai yaar,
Subah galti se biwi ki pehan li thi.



(18)
Sardar ji, apko logo ne kyon mara ?
Sardar,”arey yaar meri photo bus mein gir gai thi,
Maine kaha madam zara saari upar kijiye
Photo lena hai, bus…..


(19)
Husband – sex ho jaye ?
Wife – no
Husband- jewer la dunga
Wife – no
Husband – car la dunga.
Wife – no
Beta so raha tha beech me bola
Meri marlo.”cycle” la dena .


(20)
Question : shadi me dulhe ke saath
Baarati kyun jate hain ? ? ?
Ans :- kyunki bade kehte hain ki kisiki khushi mein
Jao na jao par musibat me zarur jana chahiye..



(21)
Sex is like a restaurant sometimes u get good service,
Sometimes bad service, sometimes no service & many
Times u have to be happy wid self service,



(22)
Vodafone walo ka kutta aaj subah hi chal basa.
Ab vo monkey se add karvana chahte hai.
Tumhe meri dosti ki kasam wada karo tum nahi
Jaoge. Keep smiling


(23)
Sex ke baad aurat aadmi se boli :-tumari bansuri bahut he choti
Hai, Aadmi ne bola _ mujhe thodi pata tha ke, town-hall’
Me bajani hai



(24)
Imagine life without girls
Roads silent, college empty, police at rest
Mobile co. in loss, no gifts, no alcohol,
No petrol exp., no bikes, no crime, all boys go 2 hell


(25)
Wife to husband :- ek sand saal me 300 bar sex karta hai
Tum iska adha bhi nahi karte.
Pati :- ye kahan likha hai ke wo 300 bar ek hi cow ko sath karta hai J



(26)
Lady in bus :- aapka kuch touch ho raha hai.
Man :- oh, who meri salary hai pocket me.
Lady :- harami teri salary 5 minute me 5 guna badh gayi kya ?



(27)
Lady – shoes dikhaiye.
Shopkeeper :- kitne number ka ?
Lady – 36 no.
Shopkeeper :- jaao madam jaao, ghar se soch kar nikla karo
Kyalena hai…

(28)
Husband: kash hamare ladki ki jagah ladka ho jata?

Wife:(Rat ko) karte raho ji, agar main aapke bharose rehti, to ladki bhi nahi hoti.



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