My favorite
(1)
Har kisi ko khusi dete hai
gamo ko tabbsum mai badal dete hai
hamen to kanto se bhi muhabbat hai
jaane kyu log fulon ko masal dete hai.
(2)
vakt noor ko benoor kar deta hai
Chhote se jakhm ko maasoor kar deta hai
kon chahta hai apno se door rahna
Vakt sabko majboor kar deta hai.
(3)
Har saahil ko kinaara mat samjho
Har dost ko sahara mat samjho
Najar najar mai fark hota hai
Har najar ko isaara mat samjho.
(4)
Mera har chalan niraala hai
Maine har gam ko khusi mai dhala hai
Jin hadson mai log marte hai
Un hadson ne mujhe paala hai.
(5)
Mangi thi dua aashiyane ki
Chal padi aandhiyan jamaane ki
Mera vakt koi na samajh saka
Kyonki meri aadat thi muskurane ki.
(6)
Mat karo bada jise tum nibha na sako
Mat chaho unhen jinhe tum paa na sako
Payar kahan kisi ka pura hota hai
Kyonki pyar ka to pehla achhar hi adhura hota hai.
(7)
Dosti achhi ho toVakt bhi ruk jata hai
Asman laakh uncha ho jhuk jata hai
Dosti mai duniyan bane laakh rukabat
Dost agar sachha ho to khuda bhi jhuk jata hai.
(8)
Esa koi jahan mile
chehron pe muskaan mile
Kaash mile mandir mai allah
Aur masjid mai bhagwan mile
(9)
Subhah muhabbat saam muhabbat
apna to hai kaam muhabbat
Hamen to dono se karte hai
Allah ho ya raam muhhabbat.
(10)
Bhul se koi bhul ho to bhul samjhkar use bhul jana
Bhulana kebal bhul ko kahin bhul se hamen na bhul jana.
(11)
Kuchh riste upar bante hai
Kuchh riste ham banate hai
Vo log khas hote mai
Jo bina riston ke riste nibha jaate hai.
(12)
Dosti vo ehsaas hai jo kabhi mitata nai
Dosti vo parvat hai jo kabhi jhukta nahi
Iski keemat puchho hamse
Ye vo moti hai jo bikta nahi.
(13)
Pyar ka pehla isk ka dusra
Muhabbat ka tisra akshar adhura hota hai
Isi liye to ham tumhe chate hai
Kyoki chaahat ka har akshar pura hota hai.
(14)
Dard mai koi mosam pyar ka nahi hota
dil ho pyasa to paani se gujara nahi hota
dekhe jarakoi bebasi hamaari
Ham uske ho jaate hai jo hamaara nahi hota.
(15)
Jindgi ke liye jina jaruri hota hai
jine ke liye armaan jaruri hai
chahe ho jindgi mai kitane gam
Aapke chahre pe muskaan jaruri hai.
(16)
Kashis dil ki har cheej ko bhula deti hai
band aankhon mai bhi sapne saja deti hai
sapno ki duniya jarur rakhna dosto
Kyonki hakikat aksar rula deti hai.
(17)
Muskurana hi to khusi nahi hoti
Umra bitana hi jindgi nahi hoti
Khud ko itana padta hai dosti mai
Kyonki dost kehna hi dosti nahi hoti.
(18)
Dila ka raj nigahon se bayan hota hai
Muhabbat mai to yaar hi khuda hota hai
Jo pyar jism hai ruh se kiya jaaye
Duniyan mai esa pyar kahan hota hai.
(19)
Har ek se achhi baat karna fitrat hai hamaari
Har koi khus rahe ye hasrat hai hamaari
koi hamko yaad kare ya na kare par sabko yaad karna aadat hai.
(20)
Jindgi lehar thi aap saahil huye
Na jaane kaise ham aapke kabil huye
Na bhul payenge ham us pal ko jab
aap hamaari jindgi mai saamil huye
(21)
Koyi na mila esa jis par duniya luta dete
Sabne diya dhokha kis kis ko bhula dete
aapne dil ka dard dil mai hi dabaye
rakhkha hai Gar karte bayan to mehfil ko rula dete.
(22)
Ham hava nahi jo kho jayenge
Ham mosam nahi jo badal jayenge
Ham vo hai jo kushi or gam mai bhi najar aayenge.
(23)
Jiske paas kuchh nahi hota us par duniya hasti hai
Jiske paas sabkuchh hota hai usase duniya jalti hai
Hamare paas aapki dosti hai jise paane ko duniya tarasti hai.
(24)
Gujre kal ki yaad aati hai
Kuchh lamho se aankhe bhar aati hai
saam doob jati hai subah-2 jab aap jaise dost ki yad aati hai
(25)
Rab se aapki khusi mangte hai
duaa mai aapki hansi magte hai
sochha ki kya mange aapse
Aur aapse se umra bhar ki dosti mang lete hai.
(26)
Byayaam to sabhi karte hai mai barjis bhi kiya karta hun
bepanah muhabbat thi tumse ab nafrat bhi kiya karta hun.
If you like it Please comment me i feel better
Shayri With Tear
on Tuesday, April 14, 2009Laugh with smile
on Monday, April 13, 2009(1)
Patni us prani ka naam hai jo shadi ke pradham 10 -15 saal to tok tok
kar aapki saari aadten badalti raahe aur bad mai kahe ki aap pehle
jaise nahi rahe.
(2)
Doctor ek patient ke pichhe bhag raha tha ek admi ne puchha kya hua?
Doctor: are yaar char bar aisa hua hai sala brain ka operation karwane aata hai aur baal katvake chala
jata hai.
(3)
Teacher to student: is line ki english banao - Usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya.
Student - He done his work and done - dana - dan - done - dana - dan.
(4)
Ek aadmi sadhu se bola: -
Meri bibi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batayen na shadu ji....
Aur fir shadu gusse mai bole: -
abe saale upay agar mere paas hote to mai shadu kyon banta.
(5)
Ek sahebji ghabraye hue aaye aur biwi se bole: “Begam, aaj main office se aa raha tha ki raste mein ek
gadha…!”
Itne mein unki bachhi bol uthi: “Mummy, Shyam ne meri gudiya tod di hai.” Pati ne phir kehna shuru kiya
“Haan toh begam, main keh raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…..!”
Itne mein unka ladka bola: “Mummy, Rita ne meri car tod di hai.”
Biwi ghusse mein aakar boli: “Bhagwan ke liye tum sab chup ho jao, mujhe pehle gadhe ki baat sun lene
do..!”
(6)
Boy to girl at a dance party: “Kya tum mere sath dance karogi?”
Girl reply: “Main bacche ke saath dance nahi karti.”
Boy: Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho
(7)
Ek ladke ne jockey ka underwear kharida. 2 din bad woh gaon chala gaya.
Waha usne apni dhoti upar karke sabko dikhaya.
Baad mein ghar pahuncha toh pata chala ki underwear toh chair par pada tha!!!
(8)
Pati patni se: - fir vahi bengan ,tumhe pata hai jada bengaan khane se aadmi agle janam mai gadha
banta hai.
Patni pati se: - ye bat to tumhe pichhale janam mai sochni chaahiye thi.
(9)
Ek orat-(raah chalte ladke ko sigrate pita dekh ke bolti hai)
kya tumhare ma baab ko pata hai ki tum sigrate pite ho?
Ladka-(orat se)kya aapke pati ko pata hai ki aap sadak chalte
kisi ajnavi se baat karti hai.?
(10)
Ek baar kela or nibu mai behas ho jati hai
Kela:-nibu se ki tujhe to katkar nichhod kar maja lete hai
Nibu:- kele se are han ! tere to kapde utar kar maja lete hai.
(11)
Ek machhar dusre machhar se: - dekh yar kamaal ho raha hai chuhe dani mai chuha hai sabun dani mai
sabun hai aur machhar dani mai aadmi so raha hai.
If you like it Please comment me i feel better
If you like it Please comment me i feel better
I will also exercise
Leke dikhao
Age : 11 Month
Weight : 52.5 kg.
Diet : everyday one kg. rice , five leter milkand two kg. beef.
I refuse toseeit
Friendship Shayri
on Wednesday, April 8, 2009
(1)
Wo kahte hain k saari raat
aap hume sone nahi dete,
hum kehte hai k apka noor he aisa hai
k aap hamari raat hone he nahi dete.
(2)
Aye dost teri dosti uss ghaditadpaayegi,
Jab zindagi kahegi alvida, Aur maut bhi naa aayegi ! …
(3)
Ab na koshish karenge unhe bulane ki,
jinki adat hai bin baat rooth jaane ki.
vo chahe to bhool jayein humein sapna samaj kar,
magar hamein adat nahin apno ko dil se bhulane ki.
(4)
Raatein gumnaam hoti hai,
Din kisike naam hota hai,
Hum zindagi kuch is tarah jeete hai,
Ki har lamha doston ke naam hota hai !
(5)
Tumse doori ka ehsaas sataane lagaa,
Tere saath guzaraa har lamha yaad aane laga,
Jab bhi tujhe bhoolne ki koshish ki aye dost,
Tu dil ke aur bhi kareeb aane laga !
(6)
Zindagi nahin humein doston se pyaari,
Doston pe haazir hai jaan hamaari,
Aankhon mein hamaari aansoon hai toh kya,
Jaan se bhi pyaari hai muskaan tumhaari !
(7)
Jasbaate ishq naakaam naa hone denge,
Dil ki duniya mein kabhi shaam naa hone denge,
Dosti ka har ilzaam apne sar par le lenge,
Par dost hum tumhe badnaam na hone denge !
Dosti achchi ho toh rang laati hai,
Dosti gehri ho toh sabko bhaati hai,
Dosti naadaan ho toh toot jaati hai,
Par agar dosti apne jaisi ho….
…. Toh itihaas banaati hai !
(8)
Dosti mein choti-choti baton se shikva na karna,
gila tab karna jab hum dosti tod dege
kyunki aisa tabhi hoga jab hum ye duniya chod dege.
(9)
Dil ki dhadkan dhadka gaya koi, mere khwabo ko mehka gaya koi, hum
to anjaane rasto par chal rahe the achanak hi pyaar ka matlab shikha
gaya koi
(10)
Rishto ne har qadam pe imtehaan liya,tanhai ne har mod pe dhokha diya.
Zindagi se phir b shikayat nahi Kyunki,Zindagi ne “Aap” jaisa dost bhi to
diya.
(11)
Hum umidon ki dunia basate rahe,Vo bhi har kadam par aazmate rahe.
Jab mahobbat k imtihaan mein marna pada,Humne jaan dedi aur vo
kasmein khaate rahe.
(12)
Mohabbat ki lahero pe kastiya chalane waale
zara sambhal ke, mohabbat dariya hai sahil nahi,
uthte hai kahi tofaan mohabbat ke samander me bhi,
ager us se lad na sako to tum mohabbat ke kabil nahi.
(13)
Jaan hai mujhko zindagi se pyaari,
Jaan ke liye kar doon kurbaan yaari,
Jaan ke liye todd doon dosti tumhaari,
Ab tumse kya chhupaana,
Tum hi toh ho jaan hamaari !
(14)
Tujhe dekhe bina teri tasweer bana sakta hoon,
Tujhse mile bina tera haal bata sakta hoon,
Hai meri dosti mein itna dum,
Apni aankh ka aansoon teri aankh se gira sakta hoon !!
(15)
Dosti toh sirf ek ittefaaq hai,
Yeh toh dilon ki mulaakaat hai,
Dosti nahi dekhti yeh din hai ki raat hai,
Isme toh sirf wafaadaari aur jasbaat hai !
(16)
Dost ek saahil hai tufaano ke liye,
Dost ek aaina hai armaano ke liye,
Dost ek mehfil hai anjaano ke liye,
Dosti ek khawaahish hai aap jaise dost ko paane ke liye !!
(17)
Dosti karna humein bhi sikhado zara,
us dil ke kone me humko bhi bithalo zara,
hum tumhare dil me hai ki nahi
hothon se na sahi isharo se bata do zara.
(18)
Karib se Tumhe Dekha to apna paya,
Jab Tumhe Dosti me Azmaya to apna paya,
Tumhe kya Naam dun Samajh mein nahi aata-
Dost, Pyar, Zindagi ya Mera Saaya.
(19)
Zindgi ki rahon mai bahut yaar milenge
Hum kya hamse bhi achhe hazir milenge
In achho ki bheed mai hamen na bhula dena
Hum kahan tumhe baar baar milenge
(20)
Har khushi Hai Logon Ke Daman Mein,
Par Ek Hansi Ke Liye Waqt Nahi.
Din Raat Daudti Duniya Mein,
Zindagi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
(21)
Maa Ki Loree Ka Ehsaas To Hai,
Par Maa Ko Maa Kehne Ka Waqt Nahi.
Saare Rishton Ko To Hum Maar Chuke,
Ab Unhe Dafnane Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
(22)
Saare Naam Mobile Mein Hain,
Par Dosti Ke Lye Waqt Nahi.
Gairon Ki Kya Baat Karen,
Jab Apno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
(23)
Aankhon Me Hai Neend Badee,
Par Sone Ka Waqt Nahi.
Dil Hai Ghamon Se Bhara Hua,
Par Rone Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
(24)
Paison ki Daud Me Aise Daude,
Ki Thakne ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Paraye Ehsason Ki Kya Kadr Karein,
Jab Apane Sapno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
(25)
Tu Hi Bata E Zindagi,
Iss Zindagi Ka Kya Hoga,
Ki Har Pal Marne Walon Ko,
Jeene Ke Liye Bhi Waqt Nahi
(26)
Suraj paas ho na ho, Roshni aaspas rehti hai,
Dost paas ho na ho, Dosti aas pas rehti hai,
Waise hi aap paas ho na ho,
aapki Yaadein hamesha paas rehti hai!
(27)
Pyar kaho to Dhai Akshar,
Samajho to Bandagi,
ho jaye to Kismat,
nabha pao to Zindagi,
kisi ko aap dil se chahe aur wo apko utna hi chahe to
"JANNAT"
(28)
khusbu ki tarah meri sanso men rahna
lahu ki tarah meri nas nas mai rahna
dosti hoti hai riston ka anmol gahna
isliye ise kabhi albida na kahna.
(29)
maana ki pyar ka pehla akchhar adhura hota hai likin pa
ko nikal do to yaar rah jata hai or aap jaisa yaar ho to !
jindgi se bhi pyar ho jaata hai.
(30)
Love is an ATM CARD
Life is a CREDIT CARD
Wife is a VISA CARD
Lover is a DEBIT CARD
But FRIENDSHIP is a GOLD CARD
Keep it safe
God or a miracle
A number of what it says as God or a miracle
(1)
Kitna Bhi Chaho Na Bhul Paoge Hume,
Jitni Dur Bhi Jaoge Najdik Paoge Hume
Mita Sako To Mita Do Yaade Meri,
Kya Apne Sapno Se Juda Kar Paoge Hume
(2)
Jab hum ho tanha to sath rehna,
Roye aakhe to aansu poch lena
jab tak zinda hai tab tak hi staenge,
Vada hai ke marne ke bad to yaad bhi nahin aaenge.
(3)
Ye jo pine pilaane ki bat karte hai
Inse keh do ki kabhi ham bhi piya karte the
Jitna pikar vo behak jaate hai
Utna to ham paimane mai chhod diya karte the
(4)
Humse koi Gila ho jaye To Maf karna
Yaad Na kar paye To Maf krna
DilSe to Hum Aapko kabhi Bhulate Nhi
Par Ye Dil Hi Ruk Jaye To Maf Krna
(5)
Aaj Bhi Ek SawaL Hai Is diL Mein,
Pyar Ka Gam Beshumar Hai Is diL Mein,
Kuch Keh Nahi Pata Ye diL Magar,
Kisi Ke Liye Bahut Pyar Hai Is diL Mein.
(6)
Pyar kya hota hai hum nhin jante !
Zindgi ko hum apna nhin mante,
Gum itne mile ki ehsaas nhin hota,
koi hmse pyar kare vishvaas nhin hota..!!
(7)
Ek muskan tu muhje ek baar de de
khwab mein hi sahi ek deedar de de.
Bas ek baar kar le tu aane ka wada
phir Umar Bhar ka chahe intezar de de.
(8)
Jisne chot na khai ho, wo chehra kya pahchanega,
Dil ka hal to yaaro koi dil wala hi janega.
(9)
BHOOLANA TO CHAHA PER BHOOLAYA NAHI,
HUM NE WAASOU SE APNA DAMAN CHURAYA NAHI,
JUDA TO HUE PER MILNE KI TAMANNA BAQHI HAI,
ISI LIYE DIL KISI OR SE LAGAYA NAHI HAI….
(10)
APNI TO ZINDAGI HI AJEEB KAHANI HAI ,
JIS CHIS KO CHAHA WO BEGANI HAI ,
HASTE HAI TO SIRF DUNIYA KE LIYE ,
WARNA IN ANKHO MAIN TO SIRF PANI HI PANI HAI…
(11)
Ek pal ka saath aapka dil choo jata hai,
jaane ke baad aapke yeh pal bohot yaad aata hai,
dil na jane kyu samajh nahi pata hai,kaise koi ajnabi apna ban jata hai.
(12)
Yaad mein teri aankhe bharta hai koi,
har saans ke saath tujhe yaad karta hai koi,
maut to sachai hai aani hai,
lekin teri judaai mein har roz marta hai koi….!
(13)
Tari hatopay mahandi lagaygi to mari namki hogi.
Doli tari ruksat hogi to mari gharpay rukaygi
Isi umid liya zinda rahangay martaydamtak.
Kyon ki mujhay yakin hai tu akdin jarur ayagi.
(14)
Jis subha tari yad na aya………
Khuda karay ayasi subha na aya
Ya kabhi mumkin nahi kay
Dil dharkay ar tara yad na aya.
(15)
Aaj To Hum Maut Ki Dua Kar Ke Roye Hain
Dobara Aaj Khuda Se Gila Kar Ke Roye Hain
Kyon Na Likh Saka Tu Us Ko Taqdeer Mein Meri
Yeh Aik Khayal Soch Kar Phir Hum Roye Hain.
(16)
Sapne Ki Tarah Aakar Chale Gaye
Gamo Ki Neend Sulakar Chale Gaye
Kis Bhool Ki Saza Di Humko??
Pehle Hasaya Aur Fir Rulakar Chale Gaye. Hum ko to muskranay ki Aadat si hai
Ansoon ko Chupanay ki Aadat si hai
Duwa na hi Dawa Kaam kerti Hai hum per..
Ab to Zakhm Khanay ki Aadat si Hai..
(17)
Paane se khone ka maza aur hai
Bandh aankhon main rone ka maza aur hai
Aansoo bane lafz aur lafz bane ghazal
aur uss ghazal main tere hone ka maza aur hai
(18)
Dard Ki Barish Sahi Maddham Zara Aahista Chal,
Dil Ki Mitti Hai Abhi Tak Nam Zara Aashista Chal,
Tere Milne Aur Phir Tere Bichhad Jane Ke Bich,
Faasla Ruswai Ka Hai Zara Aahista Chal,
Apne Dil Hi Mein Nahi Hai Uski Mehrumi Ki Yaad,
Uski Aankhon Mein Bhi Hai Shabnam Zara Aahista Chal,
Koi Hi Ho Humsafar Na Ho Khush Is Qadar,
Ab Ke Logon Mein Wafa Hai Kam Zara Aahista Chal….
(19)
Meri gali se wo ja b bhi gujarta hoga
Mod pe jaake kuch der thaharta hoga
Bhool jaana mujhko itna aasaan to na hoga
Dil main kuchtoot ke to bikharta hoga
Saath dekhe the Jo un khwabon ka kaarwaa
Gubaa bankar uski aankho me ubharta haga
Koi jab choomta hoga use baanho me lekar
Mera pyar badan me uske siharta hoga
Uski julfon ko meri ungliyan dulaarti hongi
Saamne aaine ke wo jab bhi sanwarta hoga
Dard jab bhi deta hoga ye sangdil zamaana
Wo bewafa is “maan” ko yaad karta hoga
(20)
lamho mein jo kat jae wo kya jindagi
aansuo mein jo beh jae wo kya jindagi
jindagi ka to falsafa hi kuch aur hai
jo har kisi ko samajh aae wo kya jindagi
(21)
Unhone dekha aur aansu ghir pade,
bhari barsaat me jaise phul bhikar pade,
dukh vo nahi ki unhone hume alvida kaha,
dukh tho ye hai ki uske baad vo khud ro pade…
(22)
Teri yaad
Teri yaad se rishta kal bhi tha
teri yaad se rishta aaj bhi hai,,
Dil apna dukhta kal bhi tha
dil ye udaas aaj bhi hai,,
Jo pyar hum tum karte they
woh pyar to zinda aaj bhi hai,,
Hum bichad gaye is doori mein
tum door ho majboori mein,,
Kabhi waqt mile to chali ana
khula dil ka darwaza aaj bhi hai,,
Na sataao, na tadpaao….. .
na mehfil mein yu tanha chodo,
Teri yaad me jaage kal bhi they,
teri yaad me jaage aaj bhi hain……
If you like it Please comment me i feel better
(1)
Conductor : baccha ko ticket ?
Rajsthani lady :- iko bhi lagego ke ? yo tho abaar bobo chuse
hai.
Conductor:- bobo tho iko baap bhi chuse hai.
To uke bhi free me bitha lu
(2)
Sardar running behind bus, and finaly catches it n asked driver,
ye bus teri ma lagti hai ?Nahi.
Behan lagti? Nahi… biwi ? nahi. Tho sala chadne kyu nahi deta
(3)
Girl hostel me phone aaya- meena hai kya ?
Warden ne pucha-piche kya lagati hai ?
Jawab aaya-ab tho pata nahi pehle sarson ka tel lagati thi
(4)
Husband:- ne sasural me biwi se : chalo sex karte hain
Biwi : nahi ye mere baap ka ghar hai
Husband :- tho kya mere baap ka ghar red light area hai jo to roz
Taiyar ho jati hai.
(5)
Sardar go 4 sex with wife
Wife – please aaj mat karo, mera upwas hai..
Sardar gusse se => bhenchod mere lund pe kya aata laga hai,
Jo upwas tut jayega >
(6)
Suhagrat ko pati ne patni se pucha “ kya mehsus kar rahi ho ?”
Patni = aaj tak top_up me kam chalaati thi aaj se life time karwa liya.
(7)
Hone wali bahu ko dekhne aaye sasur ne kaha beti chai aati hai.
Ladki boli chutiye mujhe abhi tak dudh nahi aata. Chai kya ghanta aayegi
(8)
Nasbandi ki team ko dubara apne village me dekh kar ek budha bola,
“ in logo ne connection to pahle hi kat diya tha. Ab kya handset bhi
le jayege.?
(10)
Women’s life is very hard – morning – wash clothes,
Noon – dry clothes,
Evening- iron clothes,
Night – open clothes,
Late night-search clothes..
(12)
Ek budha blue film dekhte huyejor se haath ko jatka dene laga
Ladka- kya hua baba ?
Baba- kya hona hai, 30 saal bad khada hua tho
Aaj haath so gaya..
(13)
Default non veg msg (sexy)
Bandriya ne apni maa se pucha meri sadhi kiske sath hogi,
Bandriya ki maa ne kha agar ye sms padne wala muskra de to
Samjo baat paki.
Happy smile day
(14)
Onese james bond met a dog in jungle and said –
I am bond “ james bond”
The dog bites him & replies-
I am kutta.. hidkiya kutta ab to tharo naam bhi
Tumhe bata diyo
(15)
Teacher to santa :- aisi kisi jagah ka naam batao jise banaya to Aadmi
Ne hai par phir bhi wo waha ja nahi sakta ?
Santa : “ ladies toilet”
(16)
Default non veg msg (sexy)
Ek city ka ladka pehli baar sasural gaya,
Village walon se pucha – yaho koi enjoy karne wali cheej hai kya ?
Wo bole – nahi ,
Ek thi wo bhi aap le gaye..
(17)
Sardar : aaj ghr jate hi biwi ki chaddi utarunga.
Dost : aaj bade mood me ho ?
Sardar : ghanta bhenchod, bahut tight hai yaar,
Subah galti se biwi ki pehan li thi.
(18)
Sardar ji, apko logo ne kyon mara ?
Sardar,”arey yaar meri photo bus mein gir gai thi,
Maine kaha madam zara saari upar kijiye
Photo lena hai, bus…..
(19)
Husband – sex ho jaye ?
Wife – no
Husband- jewer la dunga
Wife – no
Husband – car la dunga.
Wife – no
Beta so raha tha beech me bola
Meri marlo.”cycle” la dena .
(20)
Question : shadi me dulhe ke saath
Baarati kyun jate hain ? ? ?
Ans :- kyunki bade kehte hain ki kisiki khushi mein
Jao na jao par musibat me zarur jana chahiye..
(21)
Sex is like a restaurant sometimes u get good service,
Sometimes bad service, sometimes no service & many
Times u have to be happy wid self service,
(22)
Vodafone walo ka kutta aaj subah hi chal basa.
Ab vo monkey se add karvana chahte hai.
Tumhe meri dosti ki kasam wada karo tum nahi
Jaoge. Keep smiling
(23)
Sex ke baad aurat aadmi se boli :-tumari bansuri bahut he choti
Hai, Aadmi ne bola _ mujhe thodi pata tha ke, town-hall’
Me bajani hai
(24)
Imagine life without girls
Roads silent, college empty, police at rest
Mobile co. in loss, no gifts, no alcohol,
No petrol exp., no bikes, no crime, all boys go 2 hell
(25)
Wife to husband :- ek sand saal me 300 bar sex karta hai
Tum iska adha bhi nahi karte.
Pati :- ye kahan likha hai ke wo 300 bar ek hi cow ko sath karta hai J
(26)
Lady in bus :- aapka kuch touch ho raha hai.
Man :- oh, who meri salary hai pocket me.
Lady :- harami teri salary 5 minute me 5 guna badh gayi kya ?
(27)
Lady – shoes dikhaiye.
Shopkeeper :- kitne number ka ?
Lady – 36 no.
Shopkeeper :- jaao madam jaao, ghar se soch kar nikla karo
Kyalena hai…
(28)
Husband: kash hamare ladki ki jagah ladka ho jata?
Wife:(Rat ko) karte raho ji, agar main aapke bharose rehti, to ladki bhi nahi hoti.
If you like it Please comment me i feel better.
Adult jokes
on Tuesday, April 7, 2009(1)
Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip
khuli dekh Ladkiyan zor se hasne lagi
Masterji bole: Zyada hehe ki to
bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga
(2)
Yeh waqt nahin hai rone ka,
Yeh waqt hai baccha hone ka.
Uss waqt kyon nahin royee thi,
Jab chipak ke soyee thi
Ab jo kiya hai woh bharo,
Tab to kehti thi aur karo, aur karo...
(3)
My favorite
aalam ye tha ki vo mujhe deti na thi.........jabaab maeri baat ka
jab usne mujhe diya to mera tan gaya.........royan royan jajbaat ka
usne kaha itni bedardi se mat ghusao.........balon mai fool gulaab ka
maine to ghusaya hi tha ki mera.........nikal gaya patta patta gulaab ka
(4)
Santa: Oye Murge kaise diye?
Murge wala: Rs 50, Rs 40, Rs 10
Santa: Rs 10 itna sasta kyo?
Saab ise aids hai....
Santa: de do mujhe khana hai
GAND thodi marna hai!
(5)
Husband: Jee karta hai ki
tumhari zulfon mein kho jaaon,
tumhare aankhon mein bas jaaon,
tumhari bahon mein jhool jaon.
Wife: Neeche kya padosi ghusengey?
(6)
Sab se pehle use kiss karo,
Phir Bistar per leta do,
Phir dono tange upar uthar kar,
Neeche haath laga kar dekho,
agar bache ne susu kiya
hai to diapar badal do!!
(7)
bus mai jagah kam hone par
ek uncle ne ek ladki ko god
mai bidha liya Thidi der bad
ladki jhatke se uthi aur
boli uncle: ya to use bitha lo ya mujhe.
(8)
Ek bus mai ladke or ladkiyo ki teem antakshri khelne ke liyebani
Ladkiya:ham tumko hara kar dikhayenge
Ladke:ham haar gaye chalo ab dikhao.
(9)
Beti:- man ladke aa rahe hai
Man:-Beti ab ghar ke andar chalo
Beti:-Man vinay bhi saath mai aa raha hai
Man:- tab to kutiya or bakri ko bhi andar le aao.
(10)
Hakikat samjho ya afsaana apna samajho ya begana
Hamara aapse rista hai purana isliye farj tha aapko
batana ki sardiyan suru ho gayi hai har roz mat nahana.
(11)
Pati patni se :- Dekho munna ro raha hai use chup kara do.
Patni gusse mai pati se: - tum hi chup kara do , mai ise dahej mai nahi laayi thi
Pati: - mai bhi ise baraat mai nahi le gaya tha.
If you like it Please comment me i feel better.
OBAMAwithHumour
Mandir mein jap karta hoon,
Masjid mein adab karta hoon,
insan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun
isliye roz tujhko SMS karke pap karta hoon
Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain…
Aur kyo na ho… Khayi Bhi to ‘HARI Mirchi…’-hai. ..
Andhe ke hath me “TORCH”,
Bahare ke hath me “RADIO”,
Gunge ke hath me “MIKE”,
AUR AAP KE HATH ME “MOBILE”
WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!
Mulk ki bhi ek sarhad hoti hai,
Bacche ki bhi ek zid hoti hai,
Aur kitna intezar karu tere sms ka,
arre yaar kanjusi ki bhi ek haad hoti hai.
Yaad karte hai tumhe tanhai me,
Dil duba hai gamo ki gahrai me,
hume mat dhundo duniya ki bhid me,
hum milenge tumhe fir kisi,
free SMS ki scheme me.
School Mein Ishq Ka Naya Mahool Tyar Ho Gaya,
Class Ki Teacher Ko Papu Se Pyar Ho Gaya.
Iss Baat Se Sari Class Ka Dil Udas Ho Gaya,
Sari Class Fail, Aur….. Papu Pass Ho Gaya….
**********
Dil ki baat dil mein mat rakhna,
Jo pasand ho usse ILU kehna.
Agar wo ghusse mein aa jaaey to darna mat ,
Raakhi nikalna aur kehna pyari behna milti rehna…
**********
UNKI GALI SE MERA JANAZA NIKLA
WO NA NIKLE JINKE LIYE JANAZA NIKLA,
UNKA GHAR AAYA TO MERE DOST SITI BAJANE LAGE,
RAKHKE MERA JANAZA KAMINE USKO PATANE LAGE….
**********
Tere gam me tadap kar mar jayenge,
Mar gaye to tera naam lejayenge…
Rishwat de ke tujhe bhi bulaenge,
Tum upar aaoge to saath baith ke Kurkure khaenge….
**********
Arz kiya hai!!!…Itne kamjor hue teri judai se…
Gaur farmaiye…Itne kamjor hue teri judai se…
Ki chinti bhi ab kheech le jaati hai charpai se….
**********
palkon pe apni bitaya hai tumhe,
Badi duao ke baad paaya hai tumhe,
Aasani se nahi mile ho tum
National zuological Park se churaya hai tumhe….!!!
(1)
Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,
Begana kaho ya deewana,
Suno is dil ka fasana,
Teri dosti hai mere jeene ka bahana..
(2)
Kuch nasha to aapki baat ka hai
Kuch nasha to dheemi barsaat ka hai
Hame aap yuhi sharabi na kahiye,
Yeh dil par asar to aapse mulaqat ka hai.
(3)
Chand adhura hai sitaro ke bina,
gulshan adhura hai bahaaro ke bina,
samundar adhura hau kinaro ke bina,
jeena adhura hai tum jaise yaaro ke bina!!!
(5)
Kalam uthayi hai lafs nahi milta,
jisko dhoond rahein hain vo shaks nahi milta,
firte hain vo jamaane ki talaash mein,
bas humare liye unhe waqt nahi milta!!!
(6)
Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai,
humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai,
is umeed ke saath ki a! ayega SMS aapka,
humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hain…
(7)
Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
aur vo boli ki Thanda matlab Coca Cola
(8)
Yadd Karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,
dil dooba hai gamo ki gehrai mein,
hamein mat dhoonndho duniya ki bhid mein,
hum milenge tumhe phir kisi, free SMS ki scheme mein.
(9)
Kabhi Kisi Ke Liye Mat Rona, Kyunki Woh Tumhare Aansuon Ke Kabil Nahi Hoga
Aur Jo Is Kabil Hoga, Woh Tumhe Kabhi Rone Hi Nahi Dega….
(10)
Aakhon ki zuban wo samajh nahi pate,honth hain magar kuch keh nahi pate,
apni bebasi kis tarah kahen, koi hai jinke bina hum reh nahi paathe……..
(11)
Naam ki kya baat karte hoo, log chehre tak bhool jate hain…
tum samander ki baat karte hoon, log aankhon main doob jate hain….
(12)
Zindagi lambi hai Dost banate raho..
Dil mile na mile hath milate ra
(13)
Chalo tumko batata hun jo ye ek raaj hai pyare;
Meri aawaaj k pichhe bhi ek aawaaj hai pyare!
(14)
Saawan men wo na aaye to hamne yahi kiya;
Jhoole pe unka naam likha our jhula diya!
Duniyaa ne mujh pe fenke the patthar jo behisaab;
Maine unhi ko jod k ek ghar bana liya!
(16)
Dil Ki Batain Bata Deti Hain Aankhen
Dharkanon Ko Jaga Deti Hain, Aankhen
Dil Pe Chalta Nahi Jadoo, Cheroon Ka Kabhi
Dil Ko Tu , Deewana Bana Deti Hain Aankhen
(17)
Woh Hum Se Baat Nahi Karte Tu Na Kare
Haal Sara Unke Dil Ka Suna Deti Hain Aankhen
Gham Sada Rehta Nahi admi Ke Saath
Ashk Bana Kar halka Deti Hain Aankhen
Aata Hai Jab Dor - E - Jawani , Tu Ae Dosto
Sunder Sapne Zehan Mein Basa Deti Hain Aankhen
Ma Na Ke Neend Aati Hai Aankhon Hi Ke Raste
Magar Kabhi Kabar Neend ,Ura Deti Hain Aankhen
Eesha Shukar Hai Khuda Ne Ata Ki Aankhon Ki Neamat Humain
Dard -O-Gham Sare Dil Ke Chupa Deti Hain Aankhen
(18)
Raj k dAmAn mAin AnsO girA kar dEkhO….
DOsti kitni sAchi hAi Azma kar dEkhO….
ApkO bhol kar kya hogi dil ki hAlAt….?
kIsI AAinAy pE pAthar girA kr dEkhO
(19)
Aaj ki raat badi tanha hai;
beqarari na jane kyun bewajaha hai.
koi wada nahi aur koi ummid nahi;
aur darwaza khula humane aaj rakkha hai.
bhool jane ko sab kuchh bhool gaye;
ek chehra hai jo yadon mein basa rakkha hai.
zindagi aise bhi andaz se jee lete hain;
dard seene mein; tabassum se khila chehra hai.
aap ko aaj tak maaloom nahin ho shayad;
dil-e-”shamim” tere bagair jaise sehra hai.
Usane fenke mujh pe patthar our main paani ki tarah;
Our ooncha, our ooncha our ooncha uth gaya!
+++++++++++++++++
Saawan men wo na aaye to hamne yahi kiya;
Jhoole pe unka naam likha our jhula diya!
+++++++++++++++++
(20)
Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai,
Sitaro ne aasman se salaam bheja hai,
Mubaraq ho aapko holi ka tyohar,
Humne dil se yeh paigam bheja hai.
(21)
Shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye...
(22)
Shama-e-tamanna jawaan aaj bhi hai
Har hasrat lekin bezuban aaj bhi hai
Manzilon ko nahi naseeb mere kaafile to kya
Rahon pe mere kadmon ke nishaan aaj bhi hain
(23)
zindagi guzar jayegi ahista ahista
phir yeh waqt dagmagaayega ahista ahista
tum mujhe yaad rakhoge kuch der
phir yeh yaad bhi mit jayegi ahista ahista
(24)
Meri mohabbat ko chahedhoka de,
Mai tujse koi shikawa na karunga.
Rahti hai dil me tasavie teri,
Sari umar usiki hifajat karunga.
(25)
Jab se aapko jana hai,
Jab se aap sa dost paya hai,
Har dua me aap ka naam aaya hai,
Dil karata hai punchu us rab se k,
Kya itna pyara dost sirf mere liye bana hai.
(26)
ir wahi fasaana afsaana sunaati ho,
dil ke paas hoon keh kar dil jalati ho,
beqaraar hai aatish-e-nazar nazar se milne ko,
to Fir kyon nahi pyaar jataati ho
(27)
jabhi dekhti hai mujhe nazre jhuka late wo
khuda ka shukra hai hameiN pehchan to leti woh!
(28)
dil ki basti bikhar gayi hoti,
ki rooh ke ye zakhm bhar gaye hote,
yeh zindagi to aap ki amaanat thi warna,
hum to kab ke mar gaye hote!!
(29)
Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayee hai,
gham ke saagar mein is qadar kho gayee hai,
tum aa jao waapis yeh guzaarish hai meri,
mujhe shayad tumaari aadat si ho gayee hai.
(30)
aakhon ki zuban wo samajh nahi pate,
honth hain magar kuch keh nahi pate,
apni bebasi kis tarah kahen,
koi hai jinke bina hum reh nahi paathe.
(31)
tujhe chahne wale kum na honge,
waqt ke sath shayad hum na honge,
chahe kisi ko kitna bhi pyaar dena,
lekin teri yaadoN ke haqdar sirf hum hi honge
If you like it Please comment me i feel better
Funny jokes
on Saturday, April 4, 2009
Hasna mana hai thoda bahut chalega
(1)
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and
chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks, kya hai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?
Sardarji replies, Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na mar jaun
(2)
Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…
(3)
sardar : aj maine apni class main sub se pyari larki phansa li..
frnd : wo kaisey ?
saradr : class lagi thi ..maine kaghaz ka jahaz bana ke
phainka. jahaza teacher ke pass chala gaya.
us ne ghusey se pocha yeh kis ne phainka ?
maine us larki ka naam lay liya Phans gaye Bichari
(4)
Raat 3 baje santa apni wife ko jor se dhakka dene laga
Wife: Kya hua ?
Santa : Tum Nind ki Goli lena bhul Gayi !
(5)
WIFE:- Suniyeji Aapka Dost Galat Ladki Se Shadi Kar
Raha Hai, Aap use Rokte Kyu nahi ?
Husband :- Mein use kyu roku? usne muje roka tha kya ?
Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai.
Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai?
Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.”
Love b4 Marriage*
Janu…tum nahe to mei nahe,
mei nahe to tum nahe…
*Love after Marriage*
“baghairta”…Aj tu nahe ya me nahe
Song in different languages
HINDI:
A Kya Bolti Tu ?
A Kya Mai Bolu ?
Sun
Suna
Ati Kya Khandala ?
Kya karu Ake mai Khandala ?
Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge Aish karenge or kya
URDU
AAP KUCH BOLEIN?
HUM KYA BOLEIN??
MULAIZA FARMAYEIN
IRSHAD
TASHREEF LAYEINGI KHANDALA?
KYA KAREIN HUM KHANDALA TASHREEF LAAKE??
ARRE GHOOMEINGE, NAACHEINGE, NAGMEIN SUNAYEINGE, TAFREE KAREINGE OR
KYA!!
ENGLISH:
Aye what do you say?
Aye what should I say?
Listen.
Speak on.
Coming to khandala?
What should I do, coming to khandala?
We’ll roam, we’ll loaf, we’ll sing, we’ll dance we”ll
freak, baby,what else?
SANSKRIT :
This is too good
Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi
Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh
Shrinvasi!
Shrunha
Kim twam khandaalaa agchasyasi
Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh
gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami, gaayami, maja
karishma, kim karishyam …….
Har Larki Aap Ko Pyar Se Kehti Hai
Aankhon Me Sharafat,
Chaal Me Nazakat,
Dil Me Sachai,
Cheray Par Safai,
Isi Liye Tou .
.
.
Har Larki Aap Ko Pyar Se Kehti Hai
“BHAI”
Teacher, student and kiss
Teacher:kG class ke bachhe se,
1 se 10 tak gino, me aapko KISS karungi…
BACCHA: 1 SE 100 tak ginu to kya package hai..
Aagar Raat Ko koi…
Agar raat ko koi Aapke kamre me Aaye,
Tumhare Badan ko chume,
Gaalo ko kiss kare,
toh Romantic maat bano,
.
.
.
.
“MOSPEL” lagao MACHHAR BHAGAO…
Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.
Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.
When girls wear tight fittings
UNIVERSAL TRUTH :
When girls wear tight fittings,
Neither they are
Comfortable
Nor
Boys are comfortable…. !!
Dabbay main dabba dabay main khargosh,
Uncle nay aankh mari aunty bay-hosh…;):D:D
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai?
AAj ke friends I TELL U
AAj ke friends I TELL U,
Kitne busy WHAT DO U DO,
Koi mujhe bole I MISS U,
Koi mujhe bole NO TIME 4 U,
Kash koi mujh se kahy
oh my dost/ i am just free 4 u
Moral of the movie Ghajini…
Whenever going to meet your girlfriend
Make sure u have your cell phone..
n
when u r in deep trouble
keep your cell phone silent…
If you like it Please comment me i feel better
